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Neediness
Neediness in babies
 Most
1-year-olds want to be with adults most of their waking hours, especially
the ones they're most attached to. What's more, very few are able
to play on their own for more than about five minutes at a time.
Even the best 1-year-old games — like leading a pull-toy around
on a string — quickly get frustrating because the toy tips
over or the string tangles. A baby this age isn't physically capable
of keeping playthings organized, and his attention span is quite
short too.
This means your 1-year-old is pretty demanding
company! If you're with him most of the day, you may want to dilute
your time together with plenty of stroller trips outside and with
the company of other moms and toddlers. When you're home, though,
you'll both have a better time if you look for ways to enjoy giving
your son your companionship rather than trying to ration it.
If your baby could have his way, he'd have all
of your attention all to himself all the time. He can't have that,
of course, because you've got other things and people to take care
of — but that doesn't mean he has to be completely cut off
from you while you attend to these tasks. Confining him in a playpen
and then leaving the room or turning your attention elsewhere is
almost certain to produce cries of lonely misery and yells of outrage.
Instead, try taking him with you. If you slow your pace, he can
even "help" you make the bed or prepare dinner. It'll
take three times as long — but does that really matter as
long as your task eventually gets done and you both have a good
time? Of course, your baby can't "help" you make phone
calls, answer e-mail, or read a book. Those snatches of private
space are easier to find when he's napping. But like most parents,
you'll probably find that with practice you get so good at doing
two things at once that if you have your son nearby — perhaps
in a highchair or stroller for safety — you can retrieve the
toys he drops and keep him happy with funny faces even while you're
talking to your boss on the phone.
Accepting and even being flattered by your baby's
passion for you is the key. If you're trying to get a shirt ironed
and he keeps clinging to your leg and begging to be picked up, pushing
him away will make him cling even more tightly, and escaping into
another room will make him howl. What will make him stop clinging
(at least for a moment) is to put down the iron, get down on the
floor, and take him into your lap for a hug. In ten seconds he'll
be struggling to get away, and you'll probably have the shirt done
by the time he needs to touch base with you again.
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