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The Ferber Method Demystified
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The Ferber method demystified
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/7755.html
Chances are, you've heard about Richard Ferber and his approach
to teaching your baby how to sleep. His philosophy, often referred
to as "Ferberizing," calls for a variety of strategies,
including letting your baby cry for a set period of time before
you comfort her. The method has stirred up a lot of talk among parents,
pediatricians, and sleep experts alike — some think Ferber
is a godsend, while others say his approach makes babies and parents
suffer. As a result of all this debate, some misconceptions about
Ferber and his philosophy have been passed around. To give an accurate
picture of who Ferber is and what he says, and to help you decide
whether his method is right for you, read the following overview.
We hope it will give you a clear idea of what it really means to
"Ferberize" your child — and whether you want to
do it.
Who is Richard Ferber?
Richard Ferber is director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders
at Children's Hospital in Boston. Since writing his book, Solve
Your Child's Sleep Problems, he's become known as a leading —
and controversial — pediatric sleep expert.
What's his approach to teaching your baby to sleep?
Ferber believes in a "progressive" approach to helping
your child fall asleep and stay asleep. Briefly, he suggests that
after a warm, loving pre-bedtime routine such as singing, rocking,
or reading a book, you put your child to bed while she's still awake.
Putting her to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully
teaching her to go to sleep on her own.
Once you put her in bed, leave the room. If she cries, wait a certain
amount of time before you check on her. (The suggested waiting time,
which Ferber charts in his book, is based on how comfortable you
are with the technique, how many days you've been using it, and
how many times you've already checked on your baby that night.)
When you do go back to her room, soothe her with your voice but
don't pick her up, rock her, or feed her. Gradually increase the
amount of time that passes between checks. After about one week,
your infant will learn that crying earns nothing more than a brief
check from you, and isn't worth the effort. She'll learn to fall
asleep on her own, without your help.
Ferber says that there are a number of things that may interfere
with your child's sleep. Before you "Ferberize," you should
make sure that feeding habits, pain, stress, or medications are
not causing or contributing to your baby's sleep problems.
So what's the controversy?
Four aspects of Ferber's theory arouse particularly sharp reactions.
Yet some of those reactions may be based on popular misconceptions
about his sleep philosophy. Here are the myths — and the realities,
as Ferber sees them.
Myth
Ferber says don't ever comfort your crying child
Ferber's reality
In fact, Ferber's "progressive waiting" approach allows
you to gradually limit the time you spend in your baby's room and
lessen her crying to boot. Your continued checking after set periods
of time reassures your baby that you're still there, and it reassures
you that she's okay. Unhappy maybe, but okay.
Myth
Ferber advocates letting your child cry until she throws up
Ferber's reality
If your baby cries long and hard enough, she may vomit. It's true
that Ferber says it's okay to let your child throw a tantrum —
even one that ends with her throwing up. Yet he says those attention-seeking
screaming fits are much harder on you than your baby. He advises
you to matter-of-factly clean her up, and then leave her room. Ferber
believes that a tantrum or an extended period of crying alone doesn't
hurt a child, and that if you go to her, she'll learn that crying
gets her what she wants.
Myth
Ferber says his method will work quickly, easily, and for everyone
Ferber's reality
Ferber is the first to admit that his approach to teaching your
baby good sleep habits can be hard on everyone involved. Some parents
read Ferber's book and, stopwatch in hand, prepare to put his plan
into effect. But soon they find they can't bear listening to their
baby's wails and can't stick to a progressive-waiting schedule.
With no confidence that the crying will ever end, they cave in and
blame the method for their child's continued sleep problems. If
you're struggling to stick with the progressive approach, Ferber
suggests getting a counselor to help guide you through the process
and to reassure you that you're on the right track.
Myth
Ferber says you must never, ever deviate from a set sleep schedule
Ferber's reality
Sticking to a routine is fundamental to Ferber's method, yet he
acknowledges that there are times — such as when your child
is sick, when your family is traveling, when you have company —
when you need to be flexible. Ideally, you should break these rules
only if you have to. And if your baby's sleep schedule has been
interrupted and she once again is waking during the night, you may
need to pull out the stopwatch and start over.
At what age can you start to Ferberize?
Ferber recommends using his method if your baby is 6 months or older.
Like most sleep experts, he says that by the time most normal, full-term
infants are 3 months old, they no longer need a nighttime feeding.
And at 6 months, none do. If you're still nursing or giving a bottle
at bedtime at this age, the feedings themselves may be behind your
baby's wakings. She has become used to them, and her tummy tells
her she needs them. Ferber says no: She wants, but doesn't need,
to be fed. He adds that if you find late-night nursing satisfying
and it doesn't keep your baby from sleeping through the night, go
ahead and do it. Also, he suggests giving your child a transitional
object such as a stuffed animal, toy, or blanket to sleep with if
she's older than 1 and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is no
longer an issue. A transitional object will be comforting when you're
not there.
Can I modify the Ferber method?
Absolutely. If you think you want to try the Ferber method but are
afraid it's too rigid for you, use a more gradual approach. For
instance, stretch out Ferber's seven-day program over 14 days so
that you increase the wait between checks every other night rather
than every night. Or read Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants,
Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by BabyCenter's
resident sleep expert, Jodi Mindell — some call her a kinder,
gentler Ferber. And keep in mind your primary objective: To give
yourself and your child a good night's rest.
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