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Feeding Finicky Eaters
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By
Lynda Exley
The good news is there are straightforward methods for helping
a child become a well-rounded eater from the onset, as well as ways
to get a pint-sized “discerning diner” to try a wider
variety of foods and make healthier choices.
The bad news is finicky eaters are bred more often than born, which
means we as parents are contributing to the behavior. Ouch!
Young Tongues
Did you know infant food preferences can be linked to what their
mothers ate during pregnancy and while breastfeeding?
“One study comparing breastfed infants whose mothers ate
carrots during breastfeeding to those who did not, showed an increased
preference for carrots in the infants of carrot-eating moms,”
says Christina E. Schmidt, who drew on her master’s in nutrition
to create Baby and Toddler Bistro boxes (see Resources).
“Breastfeeding not only offers the antibodies, the nutrition
and the bonding, but it offers your baby a variety of tastes and
smells from the foods that you are eating,” agrees Julie Crichton,
M.D., author of The King and the Queen and the Jelly Bean, a board
book in a series that introduces toddlers to diverse foods. “It’s
a little extra that I think helps your child accept a variety of
foods later as a toddler.”
When your child is ready for solid foods, Crichton says to offer
vegetables first. If you introduce fruits first, they won’t
want the veggies. But beware: Even if your child loves veggies,
(s)he might resist them once (s)he’s tasted fruits.
Amy Hall, a certified nutritionist, says babies soon figure out
peaches taste better than peas, which may prompt them to hold out
for fruit. “Parents get worried their children aren’t
eating enough or getting enough nutrition, so they let them have
the peaches after just one bite of peas,” explains Hall. If
this pattern continues, the peas eventually become a thing of the
past. “Hence a full-blown picky eater. Kids figure out what
tastes best and how to get it,” she continues. “Parents
give in when they just want the child to eat something verses go
to daycare, school or bed hungry.”
To avoid a power struggle, treat the missed meal nonchalantly.
You’re not going to starve your kids, agrees Crichton. “Kids
really don’t need to eat all that much. … The sad thing
is when you see nutritional deficiencies in obese kids!” If
kids are into sugary foods, sodas, fatty fast foods, or their snacking
on chips in front of the television, they aren’t getting the
nutrition they need even though they are dangerously overweight.
Tricks of the Trade
Crichton says early exposure to a variety of foods is key. “Repeated
exposure, no matter what kind of exposure, it could be a toy, as
a picture or it could be on the dinner table, but any kind of exposure
to unknown foods will reduce the rejection of that food.”
(Do VeggieTales videos come to mind here?)
Although it may be messy, Crichton says to let kids explore food.
Let them play with apples (and hopefully gnaw on them). Give them
a bowl of colorful dried beans to dig their hands into or use a
scooper to transfer them from the big bowl into smaller ones (under
supervision, of course – we don’t want them choking).
And if they squish mashed potatoes and broccoli between their chubby
fingers, that’s a good thing.
Exposure is the reason kids in other countries like foods some
of us would never touch. “Children are eating garbanzo beans
in India for a snack,” points out Crichton.
Regardless of the child’s age, when it comes to tasting new
foods, Schmidt warns parents not to surrender too soon. “Many
parents give up on a new food if their toddler resists it after
three to five times,” she explains. “Parents then label
their child as ‘picky,’ thus exacerbating the problem.
Studies show it takes eight to 15 times of reintroducing a new food
every few days or each week for children to begin to accept it.”
Margot Olshan, TV cook on PBS’s Everyday Food, agrees. Her
son, age 13, “could basically eat pizza every day of his life,”
she exclaims. “He’s a little challenging when it comes
to a balanced diet and particularly vegetables.” Nonetheless,
Olshan kept salad on the dinner table for years. “Somehow
my son has actually eaten salad a couple of times this year,”
she says. “So I would go along with multiple times.”
Along with numerous tries, Schmidt and Crichton advise serving
foods in a variety of ways.
Crichton, whose children are 3 and 5 years old, suggests making
pumpkin muffins or fruit smoothies. “You can put carrots in
muffins or even in meatloaf,” she adds. Or “do ants
on a log (celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins).”
Stacie Deyglio, N.D., a Phoenix mom, makes carrot and zucchini
bread to get veggies into her 19-month-old sons diet. “I bought
a bread mold. It’s a cast iron mold of little fish. It works
like a charm,” she says. She also finely dices carrots and
serves them with pasta wheels.
Tempe mom Carla McMahon’s son Kevin is now 10, but when he
first began eating solids, he promptly spit everything out except
French toast, pancakes and waffles. “I became creative by
trying to balance his diet,” confesses McMahon. “When
I served French toast, I would spread a thin layer of peanut butter
on top of each piece before syrup was applied.” Now when she
makes pancakes and waffles, she adds “secret ingredients,”
which sometimes include baby food vegetables or fruits, and she
still adds a thin layer of peanut butter for protein. “My
boys like these pancakes and waffles so much they will eat them
plain without syrup.”
According to Hall, whose 2-year-old daughter is a “pretty
good eater,” substituting ingredients in a recipe for healthier
ones is a great way to boost nutritional value. “For example,
making blueberry muffins using applesauce instead of butter,”
explains Hall. “There are many ways to substitute recipes
or add extra fruit, some protein powder and even some veggies,”
like crushing them and putting them in spaghetti sauce or on pizza.
“I work on these types of ideas with a lot of parents who
come to see me about their picky kids.”
Schmidt suggests “shrinking” food. “Toddlers
love things their size. Try making mini versions of the dish they
are rejecting.” She also suggests naming foods. “Be
creative. Lots of toddlers eat broccoli when it’s presented
to them as mini ‘trees.’ Cut veggies in the shape of
fries or cookies and call them ‘veggie fries’ or ‘carrot
cookies.’”
Crichton agrees making food fun is a wonderful idea. She’s
been known to cut sandwiches into heart shapes, arrange sliced bananas
into a smiley face or sprinkle a tiny bit of powdered sugar on strawberries
for a “snowy” effect.
You can mix foods into other foods, such as zucchini in scrambled
eggs, or serve them different ways without divulging your “secrets,”
but be cautious about “disguising” foods.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D., of Genesis Consultants, explains.
“When the child asks is this (whatever), the parent is faced
with a dilemma.” Do you tell the truth or a lie for the greater
good? Neddermeyer says come clean. The child will likely discover
the truth anyway. If the parent was dishonest, (s)he will lose integrity.
The child will feel betrayed, begin to expect deception and more
aggressively refuse foods.
Retrofitting Picky Eaters
If you feel like you’ve already blown it, know this: It’s
not too late for damage control.
For starters, stop buying junk food! “Isn’t it ironic
that we wonder how we can convince children to eat healthier foods,
when all we need to do is buy only those foods which are healthy
and be a role model?” exclaims Neddermeyer. “After all,
children don’t do the grocery shopping. So, the issue of children
eating healthy is easily solved – don’t have unhealthy
foods in the house.”
Children do what they see. If parents are healthy eaters, their
kids will follow suit. However, if parents fix their children healthy,
balanced meals, but eat a snack or cereal for dinner, or skip meals
and snack later, kids will do likewise.
Of course, when you first start role-modeling healthy eating and
void the kitchen of anything unhealthy, your children will beg for
their unwholesome favorites. This would be a good time to show them
the movie Super Size Me (DVD).
“Super Size Me was a great movie, agrees Olshan, who took
her son to see it. “He never wants to go to those (fast food)
places anymore. That wasn’t my intention when I showed him
that movie, but it really did a number on him.”
Your kids may also rebel by eating very little for a while, but
nutrition experts say don’t worry. It won’t last. They
won’t starve or get sick. Hunger will win and they will eat
whatever nourishing food you provide. (Note: Providing only healthy
food won’t make a child anorexic. Anorexia is a psychological
disorder. If you suspect your child is anorexic, seek professional
help immediately.)
It’s also important to monitor snacks near mealtime. “They’re
hanging around the kitchen, driving you nuts, and they will grab
cookies or anything fast,” admits Olshan. “I basically
chase them out of the kitchen and tell them I’ll bring him
something to eat, and quickly I peel carrots, slice up some cucumbers.
The other day I sliced up a little bit of cheese.” Or, consider
giving them part of their dinner early, like the salad.
“Our kids get hungry before dinner at 4:30,” concurs
Crichton. “So instead of getting them a snack to ruin their
dinner, we’ll cut tomatoes, cucumbers, apples and grapes and
serve it as a mini-salad or finger food, almost like an appetizer
while we’re trying to get dinner ready.”
However, just give them enough to stop the hunger pains, and not
enough to fill them up. The only way you’ll get them to expand
their diet or eat healthier foods is to get them while their hungry,
advises Crichton.
Olshan, who has cooked on Everyday Food with her nephew Griffin,
says involving kids in meal planning and preparation encourages
them to try different foods.
“I’m a single working mom of two, and even though I
cook for a living, I have the same panic every day – what’s
for dinner, what am I going to make?” admits Olshan, who has
given her kids Every Day Food Magazine and told them to choose something
healthy to try. Then they shop for the ingredients and make it together.
Even little kids get a kick out of cooking. Deyglio bought her
son the Learning Tower, a sturdy, adjustable platform for children.
“It brings him up to the height of the kitchen sink,”
she explains. “While I’m cooking, he’s not bugging
me because he can play with the dishes and water – and play
with the food!”
Feeding Traps
Now that you know what to do, here are some things to avoid.
Separate meals: Unless it’s for medical reasons, do not feed
a child something different from the rest of the family. “They
will expect it and you will be in a never-ending battle with your
child with no hope of every fixing the problem,” warns Hall.
However, make sure each meal contains at least one food your children
like, and offer them choices; “Do you want the tomato on your
sandwich or on the side?”
Power struggles: Ask your child to try something, but never force
a child to eat anything. “The ‘at least one bite’
rule sets up a power struggle between parent/caretaker and child,”
as do threats, bribery and begging, says Neddermeyer. “In
the long term, both parent and child lose. The parent loses because
the child learns they are in control and can extract a price or
leverage something by eating. The child loses because they learn
manipulative behavior and controlling verses the parent(s) being
in charge of managing a healthy food plan and healthy interaction.”
Food as reward: Don’t use food as a reward or bargaining
tool. Children will “hold out” for the bribe before
eating or obeying, which could lead to behavioral or eating disorders,
or obesity.
Forcing: Never force a child to eat. In addition to causing a major
power struggle, it hampers their internal hunger cues, which could
result in eating disorders or obesity.
Television: Watching television while eating is bad on many levels.
It hinders family communications since all eyes are glued to the
set. Additionally, the brain eventually connects television with
eating, causing a child to feel (s)he must eat whenever watching
the tube. This leads to overindulgence or a preference for easily
consumed foods like chips and soda.
Availability: Don’t buy junk food. Instead, put your child’s
favorite foods on a reachable shelf and in the refrigerator. When
they want something, they can safely help themselves.
The good news is you can retrain a finicky feeder. The bad news
is no one ever said it was easy. But then, aren’t your children
worth it?
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