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Party Behavior
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By
Elizabeth Pantley Author of Kid Cooperation, Perfect Parenting and
Hidden Messages
Situation: Every time I take my son to a party his
behavior embarrasses me. It's as if he leaves his manners at home!
We've been invited to several holiday parties, and I'd really love
to go. How can I get my son to behave at these events?
Think about it: Some kids get so caught up in the
unusual atmosphere of a party that they forget all they have been
taught about manners.
Prepare: It's best to use "preventative"
parenting when possible. In other words, if you're invited to a
party, spend some time before you arrive at the event to review
what behavior is expected of your child. You might even make a list
of party rules and review them before leaving the house. While at
the party, if his behavior starts to slide, simply remind him of
the rules.
Pretend: If you have a younger child, role-play a
few parties at home. Having a "pretend" party will allow
you to practice the manners your child will be expected to use.
It helps to exaggerate your manners so that they are very obvious
to your child.
Privacy: Avoid correcting or reprimanding your child
in front of other guests. Take your child into a private room, such
as a bathroom, for a discussion. Keep your comments brief and to
the point. Don't just point out what he has done wrong, give specific
instructions about the behavior you want to see instead.
Pace: Sometimes, a child's elaborate expectations
of a party don't match up to the real event. Or sometimes the event
is happening so fast, or is so kaleidoscopic that your child is
lost in the scramble. The child may be disappointed or overwhelmed
and covering these feelings with misbehavior. It may be helpful
to remove him from the activity for a few minutes of quiet to help
him regroup. Help him focus on the good things that are happening.
Give him a glass of water and a hug and a kiss, and then hold his
hand as you lead him back to the party.
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